watched the movie "its kinda a funny story" about this boy who wants to commit suiside and ends up admitting himself in a mental hospital and stuff and ends up meeting a friend and becoming friends with him and ends up meeting this girl and ends up falling in love with her...
the meaning for this bloggg, is that ? that movie deff got me thinking... yes i do have a HUGE support system and YES i do have people around, but ? what if i did go into the hospital im eventually gunnah go insane cause with the rate things are going... i hold EVERYTHING in ? yes its bad , but id rather not spill my beans to people & iim way to scard too. im deff scard people are gunnah judge me? i dont understand it, i have a consuller and have a supportive bestfriend named briiit & a WONDERFUL boyfriend & famiily , YET its hard to talk to them .. cuase i dont want to end up fucking stuff up & ending up saying the wrong thing and POOF there gone...... im SO scard, sometimes when talking to them i think ting's through 7923729732 times .. if i honestly loose one more person in my life im going to loose it ... i have LOST so many people in my life that i just dont know what i would do, i have alot of close people in my life and i know they love me, but sometimes i just wish i could getup and go on vacation get away forawhile BUT the thing is ... no $$ & no where to go ): which is the worst. i hope eventually i can oopenup & start to get used to talking to people, cause if i wanna be a childrens aid worker/conceller im gunnah have to get used to it * i know its not gunnah be easy but, its gunna be what i have to do . i have too do me , no more this shy little girl hiding her feelings.
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